btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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