you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize