absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
