He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You can't special order awesome
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize