Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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