ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
