I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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