Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
