She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
