D3 body, D1 cock
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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