that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
