We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
