So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
