When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
