this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
