I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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