Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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