...so i touched it.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
