i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
