i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
