Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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