Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
