I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
