I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
