id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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