you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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