He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize