Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
