i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
