Im at strip club and am horny
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
