"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
