these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
