Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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