But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
