you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
