sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
