there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize