let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
