If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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