i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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