It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
