It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
