Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
