Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
