It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
