so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize