My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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