how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
