Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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