didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
