don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
