i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
