He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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