yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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