sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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