ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
