So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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