that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you have to choose: penises or morals?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
