I hate your face
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
