Sorry, I don't speak sober.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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